About Me

I am a 33 year old mum of two who has spent her entire teenage and adult life struggling with her weight. I am not going to struggle with it anymore. I am in charge!

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Testing myself

I get a rare night out with my husband tonight. It doesn't happen very often so when it does it feels like a huge treat. Like a lot of couples we used to go out on a weekly basis before we had children. Now we are lucky if it happens more than a handful of times a year. So my Mother-in-law has been drafted in to babysit and we will be heading out for dinner and a film.

The film part of it will be easy enough. I am going to have a snack just before we leave and bypass the chocolate (my usual choice) for during the film. This is progress because normally I would see sitting in the dark watching a film as an opportunity for a Ben and Jerry's core sundae or a big bag of chocolate buttons (which would not see the end of the film).

The dinner part leaves us with not many options and isn't planned best. We will be eating late which is something I am trying not to do anymore. We will also be heading for Pizza hut which is just not somewhere I find the words "I'll just have..." come into my vocabulary. I feel bad about the fact that I don't really have any intention of going  for a sensible option for dinner. I have planned round it which is as much as I feel I can do right now. I haven't eaten anything other than a stuffed crust pizza there for well, since they started selling them! And since they introduced the cookie dough dessert, well, probably best not to even go there.

I have planned my food for the rest of the day and the next couple of days to minimise the damage, I am going to do 30 day shred DVD after lunch. I would normally do it in the evening, but it's either after lunch or not at all. The pizza I always have does have a ton of vegetables on it so it's not the worst option. But, really, there aren't any excuses. I think the biggest test is most likely to be tomorrow when I am going to have to make myself get right back in there.

I have never planned round things like this before when I have been attempting to take control of my weight and get to a healthier me. I have always thought, ah it's just a one off. Then forgotten to think carefully about the afterwards. Planning the afterwards for me is pretty big. I know I could plan to eat a lot differently when we are out but I also know that if I do that then what will happen is that I will feel deprived and will make up for it ten fold for the next few days with eating rubbish where ever I can get it. So I am testing my theory. I want to prove to myself that I can eat something as a one off and then carry straight on with my inward and downward goal. Before I have told myself it's a one off it has been a one off that has lasted days, weeks, months. I am going to make this a one off that lasts one meal.

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