About Me

I am a 33 year old mum of two who has spent her entire teenage and adult life struggling with her weight. I am not going to struggle with it anymore. I am in charge!

Friday, 27 May 2011

Torture by TOM

After my honesty post I realised I am having major cravings at the moment and they are all for sweet things. I know that sometime soon TOM will be paying a visit but don't know when. (One of the joys of the PCOS is that I have an extremely bizarre cycle. As in there is no pattern but I know I am going to be blessed with a visit sometime soon and my hormones are playing havoc with my state of mind!). I think that is something to do with it.

Other than the silly size chocolate bar the other night I have managed to keep a hold on it. Just. It is almost like it's on a string which is snapping one fibre at a time.

People around me are now noticing and commenting that I am losing weight. I am trying to channel the feelings I have about that into my blanket squares and have been catching up on those. It still makes me feel uncomfortable but I have noticed that it depends who it is. My close family and my closest friends can comment and compliment me and it doesn't really bother me. In fact I have even quite enjoyed the compliments. Less close friends and aquaintances commenting does still bother me a bit though. I am trying to ignore that part and focus on the fact that I am feeling much better physically. I think I have made some progress there though because in the past anyone except my husband commenting would have raised those feelings.

All in all at the moment I am finding it tough going. I am craving the comfort I feel from food but fighting it. I am looking forward to the point in the near future when I have got past this hurdle and am feeling positive again. It is almost like there is something trying to pull that positivity away from me in a tug of war type battle. It's pretty even right now.

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