It seems that at the moment I can talk the talk but then go off and do a very different walk. When I think it all through I know where I am going wrong and what I need to do to make it right. But putting it into action is a very different thing right now.
I am having a difficult TOM, it is always pretty messed up but I normally get some warning that it is on the way. There is no regularity to them at all. I have always been jealous of those people who say they have a 28 day cycle. Mine can be anywhere between 15 days and 42 days. This time BAM there it was, No warning, no indications it was coming. That messed with my head for a start, on top of that I spent all day yesterday tired, achy and more than a little spaced out. I was supposed to be seeing friends last night but instead I was in bed by 8.30pm. I feel more normal today but having weighed/measured my mind is playing with me.
I have gained 1/2lb this week but body fat was down to 34% (last week it was 36%). My measurements all stayed the same. I have recorded all the numbers but I am not going to (try not to) take them too seriously. I have TOM and my eating has been all over the place. I have no idea what is down to which part. Is the 1/2lb gain down to eating weirdly or TOM? Is the 2% fat loss down to my body retaining water with TOM or did I actually reduce body fat that much?
Next week when my mind/body have stopped screwing with me I guess I will get some answers. Until then I am going to try to get my head in the right place and keep it there. And keep being honest about how badly I am doing. I know that's not what a lot of people like to read in a blog about weight loss. I make little/no apology for that though. It's not an easy journey but I am sticking with it good and bad. Eventually this time I will get there.