So the beginning of this isn't easy. Yesterday I was hungry all day, I am not sure if it was real hunger or if it was just in my mind. I made myself make sensible choices but spent all day arguing with my body. It wanted sugar. I wanted to re-train it. I didn't have chance for breakfast this morning. A big mistake I know but I was genuinely too busy and we were running very late. So far that has been ok more through luck than anything else I think.
I know all the sensible reasons why I should be eating more healthily and getting my weight under control. They all make perfect sense. I know all the more emotional reasons like setting a good example to my children, being a healthier Mummy for them so we can enjoy every moment in the best way possible. None of that though prevents the fact that I enjoy food.
We buy fresh food, we cook from scratch every day (and that goes as far as bread, cakes, biscuits etc). It's not that we (ok I) eat junk processed crap. My biggest problems are I eat too much and too much of what I eat is sweet, cakey things. I love to bake and once I have done that I love to eat it.
For now I am giving my body a break from sugar. It needs it. I was running on sugar. Porridge with raisins and sugar for breakfast. Chocolate, cake or biscuit several times a day. Lunch followed up by something sweet. And of course dinner needs a dessert. So for a couple of weeks I am laying off sugar. I know from past experience that this is long enough for me to re-programme my body into not relying on it for energy.
After that I am going to have to control how much sugar I eat. I am not a believer in bad food/good food. A little bit of everything has always worked best for me. The problem is when I stop keeping that under control and the odd sweet thing turns into a daily sweet thing which then becomes every meal time and before I know it I am eating sugar almost every time I consume something.
I am blogging this because it gives me a chance to get my thoughts out of my head and has the added bonus that I will be able to see how far I have come.
So my starting point (when I am reading this back and thinking, "it wasn't that bad") is this...
You felt like crap because your energy levels were constantly going up and down like a yo yo.
You couldn't sleep properly.
Your clothes that looked nice when you bought them were straining at the seams.
You were grumpy because you knew that the way you were eating wasn't good but you couldn't be bothered to do anything about it.
You were beating yourself up because you knew that the way you were eating was setting a really bad example to your children. They are at the age where you can control what they eat all the time so for now it's all good. Another few years though when they are making their own food choices and have seen you eating junk it will be different. You don't want that.