Weigh in

Weight - 11st 3lbs- A loss of 1/2lb since last week making 19 1/2lbs loss total.

Body fat - 35% - No change since last week/5% total loss

No change on chest/waist/hips

 

  I think I shall consider that a success given the hunger episode and the fact that TOM no longer seems to give me the losses I used to get with it. I don't know if it is eating properly or the exercise but what used to happen when TOM was here was that I could expect to drop a couple of pounds. Now that doesn't seem to happen anymore.

  

  I have allowed myself to be talked into doing a 5k cross country next week. I have now run just over 5k a few times since the race. I have beaten the hill that was causing me trouble at the end of my run route and yesterday I ran to and from Bookworm's lesson while she and Hyperboy cycled. I was pleased to find that if anything I could have done more, were it not for the fact that it would have meant leaving the children behind!

 

  I haven't quite managed to get completely back on track with eating right but I am making sure that what I am eating is far more balanced and within targets on myfitnesspal.

A weird change

Last time (not last month, TOM doesn't call that regularly) I had a weird experience at the beginning of it. On one of those days I went through a period of a few hours where I experienced extreme hunger that just would not be satisfied. The only other time that has ever happened to me was during my two pregnancies. I put it down as a one off and ate every half an hour or so until it was satisfied.

Well now TOM is here again and the exact same thing happened last night. All of a sudden I felt hungry. We are talking ravenous, belly aching, could gnaw my own arm off hunger. I had already eaten a decent days food. There was no reason why I should be hungry. So I drank a glass of water (I already drink plenty but just in case thought it was worth a try). 20 minutes later there was no change in the hunger and I was starting to feel sick and faint. So I started looking at what I could eat that would a) satisfy my hunger and b) not sabotage my week. I should have concentrated on 'a' because by the time I had eventually satisfied the hunger I had eaten almost another meals worth of food. I was eating then waiting to give it chance to register. My body wanted/needed food. I probably would have been better off if I had just had a 'meal' in the first place but I was hoping there would be a chance of easing it with a little snack.

Has anyone else experienced this? It was really strange and if it's going to be happening every time TOM pays me a visit then I would like to be able to plan for it but that is not easy because of the lack of regularity.

I ran it off

I decided to give something new a go to deal with the frustration last night. When husband got home I went out for an unplanned run. I had no idea if it would actually work but I felt like I needed to do something. I wasn't sure how it would go because I already did level 2 of 30 day shred (I still don't like that level but I can do it with something approaching ease now). After the first 1k of my normal route I decided to come back a different way and that way is all up hill. I ran the first 1.5k at just under 10min/mile pace. I was rather pleased with that as it didn't feel hard to do it. It was only a very short run of just under 2k but it was enough.When I got back I was in a much better mood. Running had helped.

I don't know if it was the exercise itself, the fact that I was concentrating on the running or that I was really pleased with how much of the up hill bit I managed to run. Do you know what though? I don't care. I am now the sort of person who runs, not just for exercise, but also for relaxation and fun. I have mocked my husband (mostly through lack of understanding, partly through that being the kind of relationship we have) for years about his love of exercise. Now I think I am beginning to understand and feel a little bit bad about the mocking.

This morning I have muscle aches in my butt and upper legs. I am recognising that feeling now as my body getting stronger. I used to hate that feeling. When I hated it before it was way back when I would work out maybe once a week for maybe 3 weeks. Now I have worked out no less than 4 times a week for 4 months. Most days I don't get that ache anymore and when I do it passes quickly.

Throwing frustration in the bin instead of stuffing it down my mouth!

OK, I said earlier I was going to make myself be more aware of why I was eating. The challenge arose rather more quickly then I anticipated. This afternoon something has happened that caused me intense frustration. It coincided with a tray of cookies that Hyperboy made cooling on the side. BIG, BAD COMBINATION.

I convinced myself that the first cookie was OK because "I was being a good Mummy and checking out how he had done".

Second one "This isn't good but they are yummy".

Third one "What am I doing? Surely one would have been plenty".

Fourth one "Oh yeah, I am meant to be thinking about this and working out why. OK, I am in a bad mood, I am annoyed and there is nothing I can do about it. So I have eaten these instead.".

At that point I still had half a cookie left in my hand. I stood there staring at the cookie. Then I threw it in the bin. My frustration hasn't eased any, I am still really angry but I have only made it 3 1/2 cookies worse rather than an entire tray full.

I can still salvage today by replacing part of my tea with salad and still making sure I get a decent healthy meal. I have work to do on this. A lot of work. But I will get there.

Back on the road - day 3

So yesterday didn't go too well. It started off OK, I was OK with my weigh in. I had planned my food. I had planned my exercise. My stumbling block came after lunch. I had 3 squares of chocolate. Not a big deal. A sensible amount. The rest went back in the tin. But THEN, I am not sure why, I blocked out any thinking about it, I decided to have a bowl of ice cream and sauce. If I'd left it at the chocolate it would have been fine. But oh no, ice cream and sauce to top it off.

But wait, it gets even better. We met some friends for a picnic (picnic part for the children). I packed food just for the children. But whilst packing I pinched a couple of the mini sausage rolls I'd cooked. Not bad on their own, lean sausage meat all made with good stuff. But on top of the chocolate and ice cream. D'OH!

On the way home from the picnic I was quite psyched up about going for a run. Then I started to feel rough. It came out of nowhere. I waited to see if it would pass but it didn't. I felt bad and very tired. I decided to make yesterday a rest day. At no point did it occur to me that maybe I was feeling rough because of the extra sugar and fat swimming around my body. That light bulb moment waiting for this morning. Which is why after tea, when husband decided he fancied some ice cream and sauce I joined him and had a second bowl. I neglected to mention that I had already had some earlier in the day.

So I didn't do a great job all round yesterday. I did track it all, and looking at the figures it could have been a lot worse. The thing that bothers me most about yesterday's eating is that I didn't allow myself to be aware of the thought process in doing it. I deliberately blocked it out. I need to make sure I am listening to what is going on in my head because not doing that is a very slippery slope for me into re-gaining all the weight I have lost and a lot of binge eating. I have been there before and I know damn well that I am not going back. I am not going to let it happen.

Today is a new day and I am not going to make the same mistake today. Today will be better, it will be on track and I will stick to my plans. Half way through the day all ready and so far so good.

Weigh in

Weight - 11st 3 1/2lbs- A gain of 1/2lb since last week making 19lbs loss total*.

Body fat - 35% - No change since last week/5% total loss

No change on chest/waist/hips

 

*Any other week that kind of weigh in would probably have had me feeling down and trying to figure out how I was going to remedy it. Not this week though. I tell you why.

 

On Monday morning I was 2lbs heavier than I am today after a week of eating whatever I could get hold of. My head was in 'I'm on holiday' mode. I said in my post on Monday that the only reason I didn't gain more than 2 1/2lbs is that I was still exercising. I have been thinking more about last week and I know that had it not been for the running, mountain biking, walking and exercise DVDs I could have been looking at a much bigger gain. I guess I was half way there to a new 'I'm on holiday' way of thinking.

 

I put a halt on the eating junk after Sunday night and have done my planned workouts with gusto. Seriously, yesterday doing BFBM I was dripping sweat onto my mat while I was doing to plank positions. Gross but true. I have eaten really well and have been drinking plenty of water to flush out as much rubbish as I can. So yes I am up 1/2lb on last week but I will take that. I will take it and I will carry on what I have done for the last two days and I will be aiming to reach a new low next week.

 

I am finding I have strength I could never have imagined before. When I work out I am so much stronger and am capable of pushing my body harder and for longer than I have ever done. Yesterday my legs were so tired that I really didn't feel like working out. But I did it (eventually!). I did the whole BFBM workout, which totals about 50 minutes and I pushed myself. At no point ever in the history of me have I exercised for as long as I am capable of doing so now.

 

I am on fire at the moment. It is my time.

Back on the road - day 1

Writing the blog post yesterday was really helpful for me. Sorry it was so long! I think one of the most helpful parts was posting the pictures. OK so you can't see my face but I could see the difference between those two pictures. I liked seeing the difference. That was on my mind all day and having got that far I am fired up to carry on now.

I did level 1 of 30 day shred yesterday morning and I still can't get over just how much easier it feels now compared to when I first started. I am no longer a huffing, puffing, sweaty, aching mess when I finish. 2 minutes tops and I feel almost back to normal. I am not sure today's recovery will be quite so quick. I am going to do the banish fat, boost metabolism workout which is twice as long.

Planning my meals and snacks was a big help, I knew it would be. Doing that meant I didn't have to think about what to eat and knew that the right choices were there. I logged everything (a much easier task when you know you are eating right!). For this week I have decided to do a sort of South beach, phase 1/2 mixture. I need it to get myself out of the sugar bowl I seem to have been swimming in lately. After that I will do what I was doing before, plain and simple eating a little bit of everything and not too much of anything. It was working so well for me until I stopped planning and tracking.

Husband pointed out another change in my body last night. Apparently my shoulders have lost weight. He says the sweetest things.

For such a long time now I feel like I have been cruising. Last week was a fork in the road and it could so easily have been the start of heading off down the same route I have taken so many times before. I have seen that path before though, it's boring now. I am ready for something new. Bring on today. :oD